Recovering slightly

So the thumbnail version of what happened on the 9th: I foolishly leaped right into a free dating site, not seriously but to see 'what the hell.' I won't go into details, and I have good reason not to, but I end up emailing back and forth with this person, and at increasingly high frequency. Finally it goes to texting and then an a phone call. The individual in question is intelligent, honest and mostly ethical. I thought there might be chemistry there....its usually a good indicator that there is....only I find out in the last 10 minutes of the FIVE HOUR conversation that said person has ulterior motives that do not extend to the topic I thought the conversation might entail, and being as emotionally vulnerable as I was a the time, shared details that are not wise to share with a total stranger...

So....needless to say, I got a nice double helping of emotional rejection. Don't get me wrong, there was some very useful criticism in there that I'm taking heavily into consideration. I'm doing this primarily because I'd already been considering doing it anyway, but among the things I've learned are:

**Jennifer provided me with certain restraints against self destructive behaviors. Now that she is no longer a check I need to make sure I don't get lost in easy things that will cut me off or alienate me from society...I could easily 'geek out' and allow otherwise harmless activities to become the entirety of my existences because they make the pain go away. So does alcohol. A little bit can be fine for social situations, but crawling inside the bottle solves nothing.

**I would rather do 2-3 things VERY well than 16 things of a half-assed nature. Simplification and streamlining are the key and most importantly of all; it is perfectly fine to help people out. I enjoy helping people out. BUT, my emotional investment in someone else's project or suggested project should never ever exceed what they themselves are prepared to put into it.

**I'm very very good at putting on a civil face for society that everything is fine, but much like the 'oil plumes' in the gulf, there are Emo issues that I still need to resolve and might take some time to resolve, and if I am wise, I will be very cautious on going full steam ahead. The problem is that life has taught me that fortune favors the bold and that 'getting right back on' solves a lot of problems. These two sides of myself will war with each other for some time to come. Fortunately, I've stacked the deck on the side of sanity in several ways.

**I'm quasi merging all my other blogs into this one albeit with thumb nails.

I'll put the most 'fun' at the top and go down from there.

Meme Blog: Meme of Joy Via Christy
Super Ingredient Force Via Taco Bell
Opinion Blog: Short Review of the A-Team Movie
Character Blog: Short Synopsis of the end of my 8th Month Long "Blood of the Earth" Shadowrun Campaign.
Writing Blog: Update on progress on novel 4, graphic novel and two poems for the podcast. Includes a sample of the first page of the graphic novel.
Emo Poetry/Politics Blog: The Ties that Bind (Emo Poetry)
Emerald Eyes (Homage to a friend's deceased companion)
Tower of Steel and Blood (Emo Poetry)
The Case for the Blue Pill (More Emo Poetry)

Happenings this week: Hung out with Mom, Skip and Grandma. Cleaned my room. Talked Sentinel with Jay. He fixed my computer so I should be resuming the podcast in July. Might do a June. Maybe. Um.....Work exists. Got a lot done this week.

Happenings this weekend: I'm going on a weekend trip. Somewhere. South. Unsure where. I'll give details as I know them.