The Last of the Lingering Questions Resolved

To be honest the last few weeks have been difficult. I have learned that the significant other of a friend was monitoring our email conversations. When I confronted her about it, she was not only not apologetic but manipulatively tried to turn me on my friend. Upon learning the level of duplicity this person was capable of, I came to the realization she might have been involved in matters much more personal to me and much more important. Upon confronting my friend about this....well let us merely say I learned more about my friend and she got what she wanted.

As a result I went on another trip out of town since the last one went so well. It was fun but hardly what I'd call profound. Although I did get another novel idea if I ever get to fortitude back to write it. That's emotional fortitude FYI not physical fortitude. Physically I am fine. At any rate thanks to Claire for rdcomennding the tellus museum and alisson for recommending the booth
museum. I spent most of the weekend in the hotel room just enjoying the change of scenery, though to be honest I should have chosen another hotel. There was no one else there and it was somewhat creepy.

In some ways I am better than I have been in quite some time, since I have an idea on how to use the demonstratble skills I do have that are exceptional to make the world a better place, even if it won't be very flashy. The problem is that I just don't care to do it alone, and I am losing my ability to decieve myself that there isn't something....missing in me. I don't know what it is, but I know what the practical effect is. Perhaps I lost a part of my soul somewhere along the way in another life or something...if so it would explain a lot.

My plans to move are increasing in seriousness now that I know my calling in life. The problem is that a move won't fix some things. A man cannot run from his own shadow, especially when it hangs over him. I am attempting to use the strengths I do have to fix the ones I do not. Like the cylons, I have a plan. Unlike the cylons, I actually know what it is instead of making it up as I go along. We'll see if it works.

Update: I fixed the spelling errors in this and gave it a title, because I've erased enough of my stuff of late. But things are mostly better in the morning and whilst all of this is still true, in the greater perspective of things its just part of life everyone has to deal with in one manner or another.