And now the fun starts

So...the whole lemons and lemonades bit...

If you'd asked me that question six months ago, I would have taken a large metal object and shoved it where the sun doesn't shine. But I'm learning.

The truth of that saying isn't that you should be gleefully denying of reality, because that's just dumb and hurts not only yourself but people around you (in fact I'm coming to believe that a significant amount of the world's misery if not all of it comes from lies that people tell themselves that they want to be true) but at the same time understanding that things are subjective, not objective.

Who determines the meaning of my life? Well, in some ways everyone. But in the most important way its me. One of the best games I ever played was a game I was truly far behind in, and made up my own side quest. The game in question is called, appropriately enough, Junta, in which all of the players are members of the elite families and cabinet. The goal of the game is to steal as much money for your swiss bank account as possible. It became readily apparent early on due to random chance that I couldn't win, so I decided not to be president. Normally you WANT to be president in that game, because it allows you to steal the most money but sometimes it also makes you a big target. So through all kinds of bizarre politics people wanted to foist it on me and I refuse. I had a blast.

My point is that I have felt a need for quite some time to grow emotionally. And I have felt that I would never be able to do so in the amount of time I wanted. Well, now I can turn the joke that is the script of my life into an opportunity. I can react in a cool way instead of have a nervous break down about it.

This is not, unlike Hollywood movies going to make me somehow successful. I don't have a script writer. Trust me, as a writer I would know this. There are certain signs. The lack of exploding cars is a one of them.

This small attitude change isn't going to change my life in any significant way, but it will make it more enjoyable. And ultimately, that's what life is about. Enjoying what you have the best you can as much as you are able without being miserable about it.

So am I going to still want things I can't have and strive for the impossible? Absolutely. Because that's me. That's the theme of my life. Comically attempting stupidly impossible things and getting routinely crushed for it my running gag. If anything, I may begin to try even more outrageously impossible things for my own amusement.

At any rate...on to more practical matters.

Job Search = Teh Suck. A few leads, mainly due to Miles, a rather kick ass recruiter referred to me by Skip, but nothing major. The plan is to go another 6 weeks trying to find a BA job, then spend 3 months trying to find a tech writer job, then move out West. Where? Dunno. But I've been meaning to move for some time...and unless I get a job here, I will go out there. Its one of the things I figured out in my last trip to Cartersville.

I'm doing two things much differently this time. I'm paying for monthly membership in a freelancer site to see if I can get some work that way. And I'm networking more. Neither has yielded results but it will be amusing to try.

Let's see...what else? Graphic novel is on Chapter 5. Novel 4 is in editing stages. Seven Timelines is ready for kickstarter when Kitten gets better to give me the presentation....

I am going to try to write a short story a week, starting with finishing Unfood this week. Every other story will be set in the real world...ish. I want to try being a 'real' writer for a while to see how it feels. I'm resuming board gaming. I have decided that I gain no practical benefit from not playing rpg's but I'm still burned out on them. Go figure.

Life goes on. Vaya con Dios.