God has given me many talents. I have a desire to express poetry and to work to find the true story of something. When I am in an interview, one of the most common questions I ask when we get to the "Do you have any questions?" part, is that I like to ask a bit about the history of the project and the company if they haven't already gone over it (though more and more these days they are as part of the 'info dump' part of the interveiw.)
It is this trait that lets me be a writer and walk in worlds that never were. Through role playing games, I've been able to save the world a few dozen times now. I think we'll all agree that the odds of my doing that in the real one are rather...slim.
But what is a strength can be a weakness. The dramas created in my mind can be painful at times, despite the increasing strength of my reason. Rationally, I am entirely aware of the fact that I've been unemployed before, and that I will again, and that I will get another job. By basic probability it should be within one or two months, three or four if you include tough economic times. The longest has been six. Yes, we're in a depression right now, but one can find work in a depression.
The true problem though isn't the anticipated distance between jobs, but rather this vague murmering belief in the back of my mind that somehow I've offended all of my recruiters and previous employers and that somewhere there is a blacklist somewhere of people not to hire and my name is on it.
There is no rational basis for this belief, and more importantly, at least I am capable of recognizing that it is there, but that doesn't make it any less painful to beat down on a regular basis.
Aside from that, things are going quite well. I've got a lot of projects and a lot of drive to get them done. The more I can focus on them while still searching for a job, the more I can tamp down delusions of paranoia. :)
Last night Jennifer and I went to an excellent concert featuring the Wiyos, Willie Nelson, John Melancamp and Bob Dylan. Jennifer got the tickets at the beginning of the month. I liked them all but you'd but amazed to find that my favorite was actually the cover band you've never heard of before (the Wiyos.) Dylan was hard to understand, but appearantly he's always hard to understand and you can hear more in a man's voice than the words he says.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
On paper, things should be going badly right now. What with my job ending in a week and a half, family members being in health distress and financial distress, the winds of politics and current events things appear more and more dire. But slowly, ever so slowly, I am wrapping my passion in a blanket and directing the fires of my soul into an engine of reason which will grant me great and relentless power.
We shall see what we shall see.
We shall see what we shall see.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Life
Watched this Weekend: Year One, Terminator Salvation, Stargate: The Ark of Truth, Stargate: Contiuum
Read: Backup
Reading: Superheroes and Philosophy, Nation by Terry Pratchet
Jennifer and I are in a dance class. Last wednesday night we changed from Swing to Salsa, which Jennifer definitely likes. Also unlike Swing, I've never taken it before, which is good in that I don't have to unlearn anything, but more difficult in that I have to learn a whole bunch of new stuff the first time.
We went on our date night to the Drive In, which is the perfect place to see movies you wouldn't want to pay for at full price at the normal theater. One of the funnest things was the audio they played of these corny old food commercials from the 1950's, like the guy with the german accent who says that he has invented the 'food vending machine' and then proceeds to list all of the things it serves. One has to wonder what the world would be like if they talked like they do in commercials. Probably quite frightening.
All in all it was a pretty relaxing weekend, which given how busy we have been was a nice change of pace. Of course, since we don't have children, I understand 'not busy' to be a relative thing comparitively speaking but still, it was nice to relax. We watched a lot of DVD's from netflix over the weekend. We definitely like Supernatural.
Jennifer had been having some trouble getting some medication from our insurance company, but they finally approved it. While no insurance company has been perfect, given the three we've dealt with in the last two years, we've had the most positive experience by far with Principal. If you ever get to choose who your insurance provider is, you might consider them.
Read: Backup
Reading: Superheroes and Philosophy, Nation by Terry Pratchet
Jennifer and I are in a dance class. Last wednesday night we changed from Swing to Salsa, which Jennifer definitely likes. Also unlike Swing, I've never taken it before, which is good in that I don't have to unlearn anything, but more difficult in that I have to learn a whole bunch of new stuff the first time.
We went on our date night to the Drive In, which is the perfect place to see movies you wouldn't want to pay for at full price at the normal theater. One of the funnest things was the audio they played of these corny old food commercials from the 1950's, like the guy with the german accent who says that he has invented the 'food vending machine' and then proceeds to list all of the things it serves. One has to wonder what the world would be like if they talked like they do in commercials. Probably quite frightening.
All in all it was a pretty relaxing weekend, which given how busy we have been was a nice change of pace. Of course, since we don't have children, I understand 'not busy' to be a relative thing comparitively speaking but still, it was nice to relax. We watched a lot of DVD's from netflix over the weekend. We definitely like Supernatural.
Jennifer had been having some trouble getting some medication from our insurance company, but they finally approved it. While no insurance company has been perfect, given the three we've dealt with in the last two years, we've had the most positive experience by far with Principal. If you ever get to choose who your insurance provider is, you might consider them.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Happenings this Week
Well given the havok that is occuring in the lives of friends and family, I feel positively lucky. Nothing that has happened to us even compares to brain surgery or major gastrointestinal malfunction. :/ There was some potential tension re: my job, since my boss is moving to another department at the end of the month, but according to her there is no reason to believe that my contract will end any time before November when its supposed to. Hopefully all will go well.
We had an extremely busy weekend. Jennifer's mother, Joyce, was in town to celebrate her birthday. Thursday night we went to see Public Enemy which was pretty good. Jennifer and Joyce spent most of Thursday shopping at various places, including at BJ's to get a replacement microwave for the one we had that became fragged ala Half Life 2.
Friday Jennifer treated her mother to a day spa, which was quite nice for the two of them. They got massages, manicures and pedicures. While they were doing that I played Civilization IV with Greg and Jason (a friend of ours in Houston who works with Greg.) I think Civilization is the ultimate Ant Farm game, but its still fun to me. Friday night we went to the Shakespear Tavern and saw the Mystery of Irma Vepp, which was quite skillfully done. It was a little antiquated, but the humor was still relatively good and we definitely enjoyed it.
Saturday we spent most of the day with Mom, Skip and Grandma. We watched Bolt, ate dinner and then walked half way to downtown to see the fireworks. We had brought some items, grandma provided a fruit tart, and Skip's assembly of sandwich components was excellent. Though the roast beef had come fresh from the farmer's market and with the juices etc, one could understand how it makes vegetarians unpleased.
Sunday we had a much more relaxed time. We spent most of the time lounging around the house. I played some Civ IV, and read some. I finished the latest Feist book I was reading, Rides a Dread Legion in fairly short order. The evening was fairly quiet as we watched yet another episode of the extremely safe and inane arthurian hackjob that is Merlin. It is fun, but they've Smallvilled Camelot to the point that the original story is best left at the door. Just pretend that it only vaguely resembles hundreds of years of story telling (which it does) and you'll be more or less fine. Occasionally it can be frustrating as Merlin acts like a complete and total idiot, but his heart is in the right place, even if his brain isn't. We liked Supernatural a lot better and I'm sorry we haven't been watching it up until now. Its quite good. I originally thought it was Fred and Fred take action in live action Scooby Doo but it isn't that at all.
I think the pitch line I read on their wikipedia page "Luke Skywalker and Hansolo drive a cadilac from Route 66 and drive all over the country fighting monsters" is pretty accurate.
Later this week, we saw Charlie Bartlet. Jennifer is extremely busy with crunch time at work, so last night I finished two more episodes in my podcast for Red Anvil. On the whole, things are going quite well for us and we are grateful for what we have while we have it.
We had an extremely busy weekend. Jennifer's mother, Joyce, was in town to celebrate her birthday. Thursday night we went to see Public Enemy which was pretty good. Jennifer and Joyce spent most of Thursday shopping at various places, including at BJ's to get a replacement microwave for the one we had that became fragged ala Half Life 2.
Friday Jennifer treated her mother to a day spa, which was quite nice for the two of them. They got massages, manicures and pedicures. While they were doing that I played Civilization IV with Greg and Jason (a friend of ours in Houston who works with Greg.) I think Civilization is the ultimate Ant Farm game, but its still fun to me. Friday night we went to the Shakespear Tavern and saw the Mystery of Irma Vepp, which was quite skillfully done. It was a little antiquated, but the humor was still relatively good and we definitely enjoyed it.
Saturday we spent most of the day with Mom, Skip and Grandma. We watched Bolt, ate dinner and then walked half way to downtown to see the fireworks. We had brought some items, grandma provided a fruit tart, and Skip's assembly of sandwich components was excellent. Though the roast beef had come fresh from the farmer's market and with the juices etc, one could understand how it makes vegetarians unpleased.
Sunday we had a much more relaxed time. We spent most of the time lounging around the house. I played some Civ IV, and read some. I finished the latest Feist book I was reading, Rides a Dread Legion in fairly short order. The evening was fairly quiet as we watched yet another episode of the extremely safe and inane arthurian hackjob that is Merlin. It is fun, but they've Smallvilled Camelot to the point that the original story is best left at the door. Just pretend that it only vaguely resembles hundreds of years of story telling (which it does) and you'll be more or less fine. Occasionally it can be frustrating as Merlin acts like a complete and total idiot, but his heart is in the right place, even if his brain isn't. We liked Supernatural a lot better and I'm sorry we haven't been watching it up until now. Its quite good. I originally thought it was Fred and Fred take action in live action Scooby Doo but it isn't that at all.
I think the pitch line I read on their wikipedia page "Luke Skywalker and Hansolo drive a cadilac from Route 66 and drive all over the country fighting monsters" is pretty accurate.
Later this week, we saw Charlie Bartlet. Jennifer is extremely busy with crunch time at work, so last night I finished two more episodes in my podcast for Red Anvil. On the whole, things are going quite well for us and we are grateful for what we have while we have it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Goal Check
Physical: Reduce my weight to 225lbs. Losing 30lbs, at an average of 1800 calories a day for diet with 1-2 free days a month, exercising aerobically 4 times a week for 300 calories each session for 22.5 minutes, lifting weights 2 times a week using at least the 30 pound weights. Currently at 180 calories each session with the goal to raise 20 calories a week until I reach 300. The goal is to start with 1 weight lifting session in Jan and then adding another in Feb.
Status: Exercise is very succesful. Dieting not so much. Two months of unemployment was not kind. Revised goal for the end of the year is 240lbs.
Mental: Read 1 Good non fiction book a month + 2 slowly over Wed. I plan to start with Fast Food Nation. The two slow books will be "Search Engine Marketing" and "Philosophy and Super Heroes."
Status: Non fiction goal: On track. All read but the Philosophy of Superheroes, which is still on my queue before the end of the year.
Graduate Grad School with at least a 3.0 average (preferably with honors) in May.
Status: Completed.
Spiritual: Continue scripture study, prayer and other activities.
Status: Scripture study: Meh.
Prayer: On track.
Other Activities: On track. Working to begin doing RFP's for charities to help them earn money, starting with Mythic Journies.
Read at least one major spiritual work belonging to another religion.
Status: Not yet started. Est to begin this month. Probably something Buddhist. In fact, probably the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
Emotional: Be kinder. Have Less Anger.
Status: Seems to be on track.
Social: Get involved with a service project at least once a month starting in April.
Status: Delayed, but still planned. Countered this with helping Grandma with House of Damoclese.
Writing: Covered on the Writing Blog.
Status: Short stories: Not on track. Novels: On track.
Film: Write two film scripts. Produce two films, one directed by Mom and one directed by Jennifer. Submit at least one of the two to a film festival this year. The film should be no shorter than 4 minutes and no longer than 10.
Status: First script written. First meeting for first film scheduled. Replacing film directed by Mom to podcast. Poem for podcast completed. Second film will likely be a reshoot of "Dueling Morons."
Invention: Buy and read at least two Law School text books on Patent Law.
Status: Not yet initiated.
Economic: Maintain my job. Pay off more of Credit Card. Make preparations for child. Obtain 5 most important items as determined by Jennifer and I.
Status:
Job: Failed, but beyond my control. New job obtained.
Credit Card: Not by the end of year but paying off.
Child: Delayed.
More Important Items: 1.5 obtained. 2 by the end of the month. 5 by the end of September.
Make Red Anvil Productions Gaming have its first profitable year.
Status: On track.
Family: Improve relations. Be slightly less annoying.
Status: On track.
Friends: Have at least 3 non game related social events over the course of the year.
Status: If you include the writing group: Completed. Otherwise 0 for 3. 1 on the schedule. 1 more planned. 1 not yet at all determined.
Children: Have 1. Have all physical preparations made at least 2 months in advance of birth.
Status: Delayed for at least one year.
Other:
Create at least one podcast a month (probably short stories already written)
Status: Done. And on track.
Create a fourth blog by March involving unknown quantity or subject for fun and/or profit.
Status: Complete.
Create a group of new life goals by March.
Status: Failed. Hope to create new list by the end of July.
Ensure that all selected items in the Christmas Coupon Book I gave Jennifer are delivered/fulfilled.
Status: On track. 8 out of 15 completed. 9 out of 15 by the end of the day.
Make arrangements for Jan 3, 2010 Tolkien's Birthday LOTR Marathon Party.
Status: Not yet complete.
Go to Gencon 2009.
Status: On track. Reservations made.
Go to DragonCon 2009.
Status: On track. Reservations made.
Go to Boston for my Graduation.
Status: Completed.
Learn to Juggle.
Status: Not yet begun.
Learn to Shoot a Pistol.
Status: Delayed until September.
If Brett is sent to a Spanish Speaking Mission, Refresh and Brush up on my Spanish.
Status: Not yet started.
Status: Exercise is very succesful. Dieting not so much. Two months of unemployment was not kind. Revised goal for the end of the year is 240lbs.
Mental: Read 1 Good non fiction book a month + 2 slowly over Wed. I plan to start with Fast Food Nation. The two slow books will be "Search Engine Marketing" and "Philosophy and Super Heroes."
Status: Non fiction goal: On track. All read but the Philosophy of Superheroes, which is still on my queue before the end of the year.
Graduate Grad School with at least a 3.0 average (preferably with honors) in May.
Status: Completed.
Spiritual: Continue scripture study, prayer and other activities.
Status: Scripture study: Meh.
Prayer: On track.
Other Activities: On track. Working to begin doing RFP's for charities to help them earn money, starting with Mythic Journies.
Read at least one major spiritual work belonging to another religion.
Status: Not yet started. Est to begin this month. Probably something Buddhist. In fact, probably the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
Emotional: Be kinder. Have Less Anger.
Status: Seems to be on track.
Social: Get involved with a service project at least once a month starting in April.
Status: Delayed, but still planned. Countered this with helping Grandma with House of Damoclese.
Writing: Covered on the Writing Blog.
Status: Short stories: Not on track. Novels: On track.
Film: Write two film scripts. Produce two films, one directed by Mom and one directed by Jennifer. Submit at least one of the two to a film festival this year. The film should be no shorter than 4 minutes and no longer than 10.
Status: First script written. First meeting for first film scheduled. Replacing film directed by Mom to podcast. Poem for podcast completed. Second film will likely be a reshoot of "Dueling Morons."
Invention: Buy and read at least two Law School text books on Patent Law.
Status: Not yet initiated.
Economic: Maintain my job. Pay off more of Credit Card. Make preparations for child. Obtain 5 most important items as determined by Jennifer and I.
Status:
Job: Failed, but beyond my control. New job obtained.
Credit Card: Not by the end of year but paying off.
Child: Delayed.
More Important Items: 1.5 obtained. 2 by the end of the month. 5 by the end of September.
Make Red Anvil Productions Gaming have its first profitable year.
Status: On track.
Family: Improve relations. Be slightly less annoying.
Status: On track.
Friends: Have at least 3 non game related social events over the course of the year.
Status: If you include the writing group: Completed. Otherwise 0 for 3. 1 on the schedule. 1 more planned. 1 not yet at all determined.
Children: Have 1. Have all physical preparations made at least 2 months in advance of birth.
Status: Delayed for at least one year.
Other:
Create at least one podcast a month (probably short stories already written)
Status: Done. And on track.
Create a fourth blog by March involving unknown quantity or subject for fun and/or profit.
Status: Complete.
Create a group of new life goals by March.
Status: Failed. Hope to create new list by the end of July.
Ensure that all selected items in the Christmas Coupon Book I gave Jennifer are delivered/fulfilled.
Status: On track. 8 out of 15 completed. 9 out of 15 by the end of the day.
Make arrangements for Jan 3, 2010 Tolkien's Birthday LOTR Marathon Party.
Status: Not yet complete.
Go to Gencon 2009.
Status: On track. Reservations made.
Go to DragonCon 2009.
Status: On track. Reservations made.
Go to Boston for my Graduation.
Status: Completed.
Learn to Juggle.
Status: Not yet begun.
Learn to Shoot a Pistol.
Status: Delayed until September.
If Brett is sent to a Spanish Speaking Mission, Refresh and Brush up on my Spanish.
Status: Not yet started.
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