Focha Ricks

Focha Ricks, my paternal grandmother, died last night. She died in her sleep and she was surrounded by loved ones. She had slowly lost a bit of her memory, I am told, in her latter years. I was happy to be able to help my family (my Father and his children) make a video to remind her about who were are and tell her that we love her at our last family reunion. It had been about 6 years since I last saw her.

I think that the first lesson she taught me was the importance of record keeping. Grandma used to maintain the family circle letters like clock work. Some memories are worth keeping. Half the blogs I keep, I keep for my own records, not necessarily because anyone reads them. These family circle letters also taught me the importance of family gatherings and family rituals. I was raised to believe family’s are eternal and are one of the only things that last in the world. I still hold family to be of paramount importance.

Her letters always talked about the meals that she ate in great detail. This taught me a lot of things. It taught me the importance of putting details into the writing I do, finding little anecdotes and latches that help people connect with it. It also, ironically, helped me understand the importance of enjoying a good movie. Despite the speed at which I eat my meals, I do enjoy their taste and do what I can to relish the experience as an experience itself. Its part of enjoying life for what it is.

Grandma Ricks put great stock in the importance of her pioneer ancestors. She was a direct descendant of Edward Partidge, one of the founding leaders of the Mormon church. At many family reunions we were told tales about the great things our ancestors did. This taught me about the importance of passing on traditions and oral family lore. It also taught me to respect those who have come before us and to recognize the great sacrifices that they have made. This in turn has helped me to understand the importance of history. Even now, when I study a thing, I first study its history. Knowing about the history of a person or organization helps you put it in the proper context of everything else it does.

Grandma was a powerful woman, but also a quiet one. She was, beyond doubt, a stoic. This taught me that sometimes finding the diplomatic solution to solve a problem will get more results than a more belligerent approach. I might not always remember this lesson, but it is nevertheless an important one to me. Grandma also taught me the importance of equity and dependability with her Christmas gifts. I was rather surprised to learn that they didn’t always receive Thank You’s when they sent them, but I was glad that I had been able to do so.

Most important of all, I am glad that I got to know her, both as a youth and in my second awakening of Adulthood. All of my many selves have respected her and the role that she has been able to play in her life and in family affairs. She is worthy of respect and will be missed.