Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Choose Ye This Day Where Ye Shall Go

I lost my job today. They ended the contract at the worst possible time. My resources are low. Certain other matters are not quite as resolved as they need to be.

Two paths lay before me. There are, of course, many paths, but my recent unemployment experience has taught me that the BEST two paths are either

a) Pay a rather steep fine for canceling my lease and move back in with the folks. This will initially be expensive but save me a TON of money in monthly expenses, and this time it would not be for emotional reinforcement but financial stability.

This time I would only take a job as a PERMANENT project manager. Or I'd start my own damn company but no more tech writing and no more contracts.

But the price for doing this would be staying in Georgia...well, basically forever. At least for a very long time. I have been talking of moving for years and certain kinds of roots I have never put down because I have been wanting to leave for so long. No more. If I choose this route, I'm staying, and that means taking all the good and flaws that go with it.

Which also means all the baggage of my past mistakes.

b) Pay a rather steep fine for canceling my lease and move to another city. There would be no prep work, no scouting, no resource cushion, no job waiting, but the longer I wait, the less resources I have. And then take WHATEVER job I can find. Odds are I could get a job finding a tech writing job fairly fast.

I could move with the wind but I'm not doing that. I'd choose a city, and move there will little more than a wing and a prayer. Its risky but the pay off could be tremendous. A new start. All of my past mistakes and growing pains about becoming who I am would be gone.

The only baggage I'd have to deal with would be what I BROUGHT with me, and these days that's a LOT less than there was.

But its kind of nuts because my reserve is TINY compared to what it was the last time.

I'm not ready like I was last time. Not at all.

Are there more choices? Sure there are.

But I'm not a fan of taking them. I'm tired of this. I'm just tired of this nonsense living my life the way it is. I need SOME kind of a direction and while nothing is certain in life, what IS certain is that I'm sick of staying in Atlanta, and I'm sick of being a tech writer.

There are good things about Atlanta, and I could still make this place my home. There are livable things about being a tech writer and I could potentially eventually get a job in a different city.

At the moment, if you're reading this, a statement of support would do more than you might think. Thoughts on which path I should take would also be helpful.

We'll see what happens.

Regardless, whatever decision I make has to be made by Saturday. Tomorrow will be largely about gathering intelligence, and a lot of it, and very fast.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Nickled and Dimed to Death

So Dragon Con.

It was the best of Cons, it was the Worst of Cons. I'm going to do something uncharacteristic and keep the details to myself. I learned a lot, but the lessons I learned are slightly difficult to explain...so I'll try to at least summarize it. I learned I like to dance. A lot. I learned that I love life, and that even though elements of my life quite frankly suck, and always will, that there is still a great deal of value in what I have, and what I have is quite frankly pretty cool, especially if I ever get a chance to get some inertia going.

I'm more focused now; three paths-Writing, Voice Acting, Project Management. Those are my careers and I plan to make money at them. Everything else is just a hobby. With writing its going to be screen writing, audio drama, and poetry first, with prose and other things a distance second. Technical writing will pay the bills when it must, but I have grown quite weary of it, and will leave it as soon as a I reasonably can.

Work is both stable and unstable. IE, situation normal. However, I'm being nickled and dimed to death with all kinds of minor expenses. Not enough to hurt, but enough to slow me down. All the more reason to press forward with plans for alternate sources of revenue so that contract or no, I'll always have a steady income. I have a wide range of talents (even if I don't have the one I want) and I plan to maximize their utility to the hilt.

It does mean I'm keeping my moving plans VERY flexible. Magic 8 ball says, "WTF?" at the moment :) Seriously, this is perhaps one of the most unclear moments of my life in terms of what might happen, but my attitude towards it is more sure, more focused and more stable than it has ever been. Its not that the things that suck don't bother me, I just...put it in perspective. That includes friends. I pretty much accept them for who they are, and what their limitations or strengths might be. I help them when I can, and ...don't...when I can't. :) Part of that means understanding what is or isn't a friendship as compared to say...an acquaintance. :) But I still maintain that it is better to treat an acquaintanceship as a friend than a friend as an acquaintanceship, just have no illusions as to what the actual situation might be.

We recently cleaned out the house of Doom. We are winning. All but two rooms are done. Tonight I start to read, "High Midnight" by Rob Mosca and write my treatise for my script writing class tomorrow.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Decisions

So there is a line in "Real Genius" I like a lot where the main character meets Val Kilmer who says, "Hey. I missed me. So I told them, I want to have me when I was you as a room mate, and here you are."

So future me, through a combination of psychic....er....yeah psychicness in which I kind of took a lot of the past nonsense, plus some advice I've gotten recently plus anticipated problems and come to some conclusions.

1) I think focusing on one thing at a time is a good idea, but even professionals work one multiple projects but it is done in research, production and promotion phases.

So I'm refocus on the things I feel I do well, and work on developing the skills that I think need work. With writing that means improving my prose and sticking to my poetry.

2) After considering how hard finding an apartment was in a city I was *IN* I've decided that the odds of something going wrong are...well, with my luck extreme, so having a job is going to be very important, as well as having a sufficient amount of emergency capital on moving just in case.

3) So for practical purposes, I'm pretty sure one of the two final cities I'm look at are Portland or Seattle, but I have never been to either, so some time this December I'm going to go up and check them out. Now, if I'm between contracts, then I'll likely go up and then come back to Atlanta for another contract if that happens. On the other hand if I'm able to land a job then I might still move in January.

4) I need to ramp up my Voice Over, Freelance Tech Writing and Freelance Project Management efforts so I can use them between contracts.

Nothing earth shattering this week, though I did see the Silver Screen Spook Show last night which was fun. :)

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Vacation Day 7&8

I have ascended the mountain and come down with rainbows in a handkerchief, lightning and a mobius strip chain of paper clips.

I'm able to write this at the moment because my flight has been grounded an extra hour due to a thunderstorm in Atlanta. A fact that those of you in Atlanta are already probably aware. I am stuck in Houston. Ironically if I hadn't been seeing family just earlier this week I would have been tempted to arrange some kind of rendezvous during my lay over.

So I will start in reverse chronological order for the past two days and reminisce on the primary reason I went on this trip, the writer's program. Long story short, I bombed. At least, that's the way it was from a purely objective point of view. But its a lot more complicated than that. We reviewed the first story first, a riff on the Cthulu Mythos with a dash of the Hangover (weird but delightful) and one of our number was not there. So I went second. I was told that the idea was genius (I agree, tis one of the best I've had) but my craft was abominable. I've been told this before, but never in quite the same way.

Now, this is where it gets interesting boys and girls, because if this had happened three or four years ago I would have been devastated. If it had happened a year ago, I would have handled it stoically but ended the session as quickly as possible. But instead, I swallowed the sword and asked for more. I did not come to this just for a chance of networking. Sure, it is night for lightning to strike. It is nice to have someone read your work and think it so brilliant that they're going to put you in touch with their agent.

But there was another opportunity here, and because of the growth I've had in the last year I was able to take it. I had two professional writers and an experienced amateur tell me in precise and specific terms exactly WHY my craft was crap and I was able to ask specific questions about how to fix it.

And I've had one of those eureka paper clip moments. As in, a Paper clip is not like the light bulb. Its an idea that someone somewhere thought up if you could travel in time before the paper clip you could make one, patent it and sell it for a lot of money. I have always thought I wasn't a natural writer because I didn't have the passion of some that did, that I have always had to take a mechanistic method to my writing. And to be sure there is a component to that.

This might seem dumb, but I've never really thought about the nature of the writing as I write, I've just told the story. Honestly that's because that's how I read. I care about the story, what's happening, to whom and how. The other details are nice, but largely incidental. But MOST people do not read like that. They care about the craft of the writing in the story just as much as the story itself.

If that were the end of the story that would either be a time to give up or start from scratch, learning an entirely new skill. But wait...what if I had another skill that I could apply here...you know one that involved taking words and making them sing?

Like say...Poetry? Now simply 'poetifying' my writing of prose is a bit more complicated than it sounds. But its a start and it means that I have the artistic chops already for it. That's important, and as far as I'm half way there, and with my skill and practice in telling a good story at this point as far as I'm concerned that puts me 75% of the way there. As one of the professional authors put it, craft can be taught and learned. I just need to slow down and properly explain my ideas.

That I can do. So there is, at the last, a clear path to what I want. It will be a hell of a lot of work but I believe I can develop in a few years a high level professional talent such that I can earn a living doing this, and with that maybe the lever I've always been looking for at world class talent. Because really that's what I want...give me a lever large enough and I can move the world.

But that's another story...

Regardless, I have a direction, and I have a greater drive than I have ever had before. At this point in my life I have the perfect mix of passion for my craft and the maturity to detach myself from it and sacrifice what I must to make it great.

Two other interesting notes: They said it would make a great script or notes for a graphic novel....ie (I need to do more graphic novel scripts and script scripts) and another suggested that Unfood would make a good horror story. I think I have finally found my Boroughs moment....my Tarzan/John Carter of Mars is in the darkened lands of blood and darkness....but I also think that the whimsical side of myself demands that I try the other side as well. "Routine" science fiction and fantasy are not my strength and stock. We shall see.

So the other major objective on this trip was networking and well, to put it bluntly, my dating skills. Specifically, I need to learn how to approach, court and ask out women who are total strangers, since I don't have a ready pool from the single's ward any more and the world is my potential pool. Though I do have some thoughts on that for when I move to another city...communities are helpful and help us survive. LARPing and the indie film community are two activities (among others) that I will be actively engaging in when I move to my new host city.

Still, I did alright with networking. Basically I made about 5 really good contacts. I have not heard back from any of them and suspect I might not, but bearing in mind even talking to a stranger about this kind of thing before would have been largely beyond me or I wouldn't have followed up on it I mark that as progress. I have more to learn on this but I aim to keep practicing it and refining it.

I talked to probably 4-5 women for flirting/etc purposes. The fact that I'm able to even do that at all now also marks tremendous progress. The books I've read break the process up into 'phases' and I've got the first phase down..ish, but I'm still terrible at connecting. I think part of it is how alien a perspective I come from on a lot of things....initial contact is fine but I think they still sense nervousness or something. I'm calm myself but maybe its just lingering body language etc from before.

Practice makes perfect and I aim to keep hammering away.

So lets see...I did not engage in any gambling. Didn't see the point. I feel my metaphysical karma has better uses. And in a lot of ways I did indeed see it pay off in spades. I felt the true objectives I had on this trip were met and magnified a lot.

The Hugo Awards....seem really cool but the person who I was rooting for did not win. I've enjoyed these kinds of things in the past because I like to see how people who have worked so hard for something get recognition but seeing the other side of someone who I felt should have won not winning...well that soured the whole thing a little for me. Still, I liked World Con and the odds are pretty damn likely I'll be going to the one in Chicago next year. Though we'll have to see. I'm also seriously considering Burning Man and the Louvre is a life goal which trumps everything. That, plus a move puts an awful lot into one year. Then again, I have been able to do a lot in this year and...life is short. Live it while you can.

Saw a fascinating panel on Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves and (especially combined with the horror comment from the writing segment) I've decided to add a dash of magic to the Steam Punk/Alternate History Western I was looking to start writing next year. I'm going to wait on the Fantasy and the....I don't know what to call it until my 'craft' is more polished so I can focus on the stories I seem to be strongest at before revisiting the story element for entirely different lenses and genres.

Oh, did I mention I got to see George R.R. Martin commenting on one of the episodes of Game of Thrones whilst it was playing? It was rather cool to hear him compare the book to the show and I must say for the most part he seems quite pleased. Which I think is a good thing.

Sentinel Chronicles: TSC 3 premiered last night. It was awesome seeing it there. It had a lot of it that looked really good on the big screen and Jay was able to do a lot with what he had given the chaotic elements he had to work with. Some of the script I wrote shone through and some of the scenes that I did and some that I did not do were quite awesome. I'm glad I did it but I'm also glad I can take it with a grain of salt because the hand print of some others...wow. Let's just say that while Jay's work on this was obviously well done (and it was because quite frankly the music, timing, editing, fx and pacing were all fantastic) not all performances were created equal. I know who I would or wouldn't choose for another project if I was working on it, but I'll have to talk with Jay about that later. Obviously he doesn't share my opinion on everything and it is after all totally his project. :) And it was fun to do which is also something in and of itself. I'm still proud to have my name associated with it.

There was a panel on Dr. Who that...was a bit eye opening for me. I like the new series but they are right that Moffat has strengths that Davis did not have but conversely Davis had strengths that Moffat does not. More importantly there are some problems with the River Song story line that might break the series...a lot of good will was built up to now but if there is not enough pay off in the next series we might be looking at the end of the new Dr. Who....hopefully it won't come to that.

All for now.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Vacation - Day 6

I got a slow start because my ribs are killing me. I did some research and appearantly in almost all cases there is little to be done for it except wait for it. However I know in my case if I don't work out I don't heal well so I VERY carefully used the weights. They have a fantanstic gym. It hurt a little but was mainly very exhausting because of the amount of caution I had to take not to aggravate that area. I took some tylenol and that helped.

Attended 3 panels. One was a memorial for Joanna Russ. She sounded rather cool and someone I need to read. The second was on 'Creating Gods' and I learned some interesting tidbits on how to do that. The third was on the economy of biology in space (which included Greg Bear) and was really cool. Then I went to a Dresden Files Larp. I did pretty kickass actually in my opinion.

After that I randomly wandered the parties. I will say only two things on that: One...having people you know with you as you go to parties makes a huge difference and two...despite glacial progress I am getting better at this. Slightly. Kind of. Otherwise what happens in Reno goes to Vegas and stays in Vegas...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Vacation - Day 5

Awesomeness! So I had a friend at PlayItOn Con in Alabama that the one party I should try to get into was the SFWA party (Science Fiction Writers of America)....so basically got in by the most random of circumstances when I thought I wouldn't. I met a few people, and I still mostly suck at networking but who knows what might happen for the rest of the con.

I got up at an ungodly hour. Skip kindly drove me to the airport since the train only comes once an hour at that time of the morning. I made my flight, and it was boring but uneventful. I had a layover in Houston for an hour. I might have been tempted to call people and offer to meet them but really...I'd just seen them all a few days ago, there's hardly anything novel in seeing me now. :) (Whoo! It's uncle Tom for 20 minutes between flights...we haven't seen you for 2 whole days!) ;)

The flight to Reno from Houston was kind of aweful because I had middle seat in tiny tiny seat. There were women in their late fourties on either side of me who were also going to the con. It was awkaward at first because while I slept I accidently leaned on either of them at least once so then I just stayed awake but we becan talking. They were both very interesting people. One is here because of her husband and is German and the other is a children's librarian (like Julie used to be). Haven't seen them yet but I'm sure I will.

The Peppermill is an awesome hotel. If you want a romantic getaway and you're coming to Reno it seems to be the place to be. Later on after everything was done I did kind of wander through and explore and its...kind of dungeon like with lots of bright glittery lights and traps to take your money but it is also (like a d&d dungeon) laced random bits of coolness like bars, lounges and such. There was also this really sophisticated sports betting area that was totally empty. The unfortunate side effect is that it is also very filled with smoke...well, only a little but a little goes a long way. Still, the art on the walls is gorgeous, and I like the whole feel of the place. Staff are also exceedingly friendly. Atlantis, by contrast seems slightly more family friendly but just more...lame...somehow. It reminds me of a slightly degraded version of the resort from the Battle Star Galactica Pilot without the bee aliens...

So when I arrived my room wasn't available so I went to the convention center. I got my badge and scoped the place out. The dealer's room is VERY book friendly, and I think I'll have to get some while I am here. It's about the size of one of the two dragon con rooms but with just the same level of quality. However the entire con seems to have only 5-6000 people? (hard to say exactly.) Not any mega media celebrties (except perhaps George R.R. Martin at this point who I think qualifies in his own right) but lots of Sci Fi Writer heavy weights. They also have this cool thing called a Voodoo board which allows you to message people who are the con using old fashioned paper. There's a Jordan Ricks here but I'm not sure if he's cousin Jordan....problem with having a titanic family is you never know if someone with a name is or isn't your cousin. :) If there were 10000 living descendants of Thomas E. Ricks 20 years ago, by now there are likely what....50000?

So I got dinner. I went back to the apartment and got my room. Very nice. I went ahead and paid about $20 extra a night (since I'd already paid for everything back in Febuaray) to get the Peppermill Wing, and as I mentioned, its gorgeous. They have a nightclub here I want to go to at some point but I didn't bring the shoes for it, but buying a pair of shoes for a nightclub seems silly....but I might get a $20 pair or something of the Frankenstein shoes...We'll see.

People REALLY like the Cthulu Polo shirt I picked up at Dcon last year. I need to get 1-2 more this coming year. Tshirts are easy but business casual geek wear is harder to find especially if it is low key enough to wear in other settings.

Signed up for a Dresden Larp that will run today. I'm going to be a 'Hard Bitten Warden' by the name of Mercy Harlan. Should be awesome. My ribs are driving me nuts though. I slept on them and it is just going to suck until they heal. But I'm really enjoying the timezone shift...its noon EST and I'm still in my room but outside its only 9am....hehheheh. Awesome.

So I went to the 'meet and greet' for the writer's program and ran into a cool girl named Jasmin. We were both lost and found the party room together. We talked a lot. No, she has a boyfriend and she's 21. But thanks for the subconcious enthusiasm dear reader. ;) At any rate, we talked a lot but I also randomly ran into someone in her 'group' and introduced her to him. Then more conversation ensued. Then I started to work my way in to thank Oz (who is running the program and was my primary objective in going there because I wanted to thank her) we ran into Gregory who was also a writer and an interesting person and Jasmin, Gregory and I started talking. Eventually I made my way and found Oz and thanked her and then moved on to randomly sample the other parties. I'm getting better at navigating these things and talking to people but I've noticed I tend to do better if I give myself some secret mission. Maybe tonight I'll do something like, "Talk to five people, one of whom must be dressed like a pirate." We'll see.

So I randomly ran into Jasmin and Gregory again at another party. I talked with them. And Gregory was receiving a text from a friend of his and then he was going to go up to the SWFA party. So we all went. Well we went in just fine but it turns out that no member of SWFA had actually invited us (even though Gregory did no someone) so the person checking the badges (not actually at the door but apparently that was complicated) was concerned, so we were going to leave when someone who was a member vouched for us and we got to stay. Which...was really really cool, I just wish I had gotten the name of the guy who did it. :)

I did mention I suck at the networking thing right? But regardless, I made 3-4 contacts last night who may one day be famous or something. Given their personalities (since I haven't read their work) I can easily see it. I think networking is easier with peers rather than people who are 'above your station' as it were. At least for me.

At any rate...at some point I'm going to get out and do productive things. Ish.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Vacation Day 3&4

So the first part of Day 3 I woke up and said goodbye to Greg and his family. Then Brett, Dad, Vivian and I went to have breakfast at the Egg and I, which was pretty good all things told. Then we went and hung out at Christy's where we played 20th anniversary Trivial pursuit. I left for home around 2:30pm CST. It was a pretty slow trip, and did not pass as fast as going up there in the first place did. Good radio music but I only got half a disc in for my PMP prep. Took a brief side trip to New Orleans to see if I liked the feel of the city. It was OK, but I didn't end up doing anything but stopping and eating at a Wendy's. As a result, I was several hours behind and so I had to stop in Alabama to get a hotel room.

The next morning I headed toward Atlanta, and still a slow trip. When I got to Atlanta, I picked up some new items to take with me on the plane trip but didn't stay there long. I visited a few of the more exotic shops in Atlanta that had always interested me that I'd never gone to (including a New Age book store and a 'Santeria' store near where Jennifer and I used to live) ending one of the last things in Atlanta itself that I'd always wanted to do but had not done. About the only two things left on that list are the Margaret Mitchell House and/or the Cyclorama and honestly at this point....yeah...probably not going to happen even if I find the time. Went to Mom and Skips and visited with them. Grandma is doing well. I cooked dinner (a bean and Pasta caserole.) We watched an episode of White Collar, Warehouse 13 and then Eureka. I then slept.